There are many, many different ways of addressing the common issues such as depression, anxiety, confidence and self-esteem that affect our mental health. The self-help activities that we carry out, the checklist or journal entry that allows us to reflect on our day or our mood, to challenge our negative thought patterns, mindfulness or meditation, exercise, the list goes on.
Mindfulness, Exercise and Thankfulness for Mental Health
As a psychotherapist I have recommended all these activities, and more besides, to clients of mine who have been struggling in one way or another. They have an effect, and can be very useful in certain situations, but these activities can only take us so far because they are predicated on an assumption - that we are fully aware of and have access to the thoughts that underlie our behaviour and mood. By writing them out, or focussing on the things in our day that we are thankful for, or hitting the gym and getting that endorphin rush to boost our mood, we hope to give ourselves the perspective or mindset shift that will allow us to be our best self.
What’s missing in the search for wellbeing
The problem with this assumption is that it doesn’t factor in the unconscious thoughts and feelings that drive so much of how we experience the world. When confronted with the question ‘why do I have anxiety?’, for example, the majority of the time the answer is ‘I don’t know’. Unconscious ideas and thoughts are at the heart of so much of what people experience as mental suffering. Depression, anxiety, addiction - all have an unconscious element to them that we are completely unable to articulate and no amount of worksheets or exercise will be able to reveal them to us.
The answer hidden in plain sight
So what is the answer? Hidden in the language we use everyday is a clue to the things that are causing use distress. The famous ‘Freudien slip’, where we may inadvertently use the wrong word in a sentence (often with comic effect), or the forgetting of an everyday word or name, can be the tip of a much larger iceberg when it comes to the thoughts that are working underneath. We can get an even clearer picture of these things in our dreams, once we start to view them as more than just strange stories that play out in our sleep. Dreams are part of our mental life and often contain the seed of an idea that may be part of our unhappiness in waking life.
Likewise, we ‘speak’ in other ways that can also be ‘heard’ by someone who is listening for it. For example the person with unexplained chronic back pain who feels ‘unsupported’ by loved ones or colleagues and that they have to ‘carry the burden’; or the binge eater who never says anything when upset and just ‘swallows’ their feelings. There are so many ways that we can express our mental suffering beyond just dark thoughts or low mood, and because so much of that suffering can be unconscious, the symptoms we experience can baffle us as we have no idea what it is they are saying.
What psychotherapy offers
A good psychoanalyst or psychotherapist will be able to listen out for and spot some of these flashes of the unconscious and bring them into the work, allowing for this vital part of mental life to be examined and worked through. This is something that cannot be done alone, as by definition we are totally ignorant of our own unconscious. By allowing a space for the unconscious to emerge, by paying attention to the language we use, the slips and mistakes we make, the symptoms we feel, an engagement in psychoanalysis or psychotherapy can help us find the truth of what ails us, and provide us the missing pieces in the fight against our suffering.
If you would like to learn more about our psychotherapy and psychoanalysis services, please contact us.